My good friend Ben, who I happen to be staying with in San Francisco at this time of typing, informed Ian, also a friend with a short three letter first name who lives with Ben, that on the night of Tuesday the 11th of November he would be wine and dining and “other” a “lady friend” between the hours of 7 - 9:30. Ben asked politely, via facebook messenger with an emoticon smiley face :), if Ian and I could please be out of the house during his “multiple courses”.

Being the good friends we are, our first thoughts turned to the best ways we could sabotage Ben’s best attempts to flambé his main dish. Ideas included everything from not leaving the house to leaving a “number 2” in the toilet bowl to show how the flat was number 1 in regards to water conservation.

Reality soon hit though as I cut my finger chopping garlic and realised the joke would be on me if I were to bite the hand that feeds me almond butter and provides me with a comfy couch. So Ian and I put our wise handsome heads together, which was a bit weird and didn’t really do anything despite all the anecdotal evidence of such a technique, and then took them apart and resorted to a more proven method of problem solving – the coin flip. But first we needed something to flip for...  

Movies seemed like a good man-date move for our get out of the house mandate. After a quick google of the days Tinder matches we jumped on Google and narrowed it down to a toss between two fine films that both ranked Bob Marley high on imdb, aka very. Heads – a night with Matt McConaug-hey-how’d-you-get-so-good-lately in Nolan’s Interstellar. Tails – An adventure with an identity confused former batman now gone birdman, Michael Keaton, in Birdman. Secretly I was hoping for heads and so was Ben minus the s. I got my wish, Ben would have to wait and see.

Come Tuesday and a quick vacuum of the flat and quite possibly the best Mexican bowl of food I’ve ever made (more to come on that in a later post), Ian and I gave Ben some last minute bad advice and like magic/dope, in a quick puff of smoke we were at the San Fran-tastico Sundance Cinema. It looked like a classy establishment and I was looking forward to satisfying my mouth with something tasty while my ears and eyes got their three hours worth. However like the majority of all cinemas I’ve seen and seen in, the snack bar was woefully full of processed over priced candy, soda, popcorn, and frowny faced staff  :( - not the kind of #plantpower sustenance I needed to sustain me through a marathon of a movie. So I pushed on and my behind into some surprisingly super comfy seating middle row middle way back and prepared myself for an experience far from middle of the road.

Soon I felt a warm sense of Peter Jackson pride as the Hobbit trailer began only to be brought back down to earth by a guy behind me bad mouthing the film in comparison to LOTR, only to be taken back up from earth as Interstellar began with a maze of maize, non corny McConaughey and a beautiful ‘gal’ name Murph who was no smurph.

For the next 3 hours my hunger pains for raw vegan chocolate brownie and a glass of pinot vanished into a galaxy far far away, replaced with starry eyes, a tear or too (true) and a state of meditative marvel. I lost all concepts of time and space in the concepts of time and space, world food shortage, shortage of existence, the human condition, daddy daughter stuff, the creativity of human creation and cinema, and my super comfy chair among other things.

When the credits rolled Ian and I didn’t make like a tree, we made like a rock – kind of stoned. We sat for sometime wondering what we trying to wonder. Ian talked about calling in for a week off work so he could just sit in his underwear and ponder life’s greatest questions while eating eggs and avocado on toast at home. I liked the idea, minus the eggs. To be honest I felt lucky to be alive. Ian then remarked, “no matter how good Ben’s night was, ours was better. I don’t care if he got 10 blowjobs, it wasn’t it as good as that film!” I nodded my head, excuse the pun and profanities, and agreed that there was no higher compliment for a film. 

And so we returned to reality and Ben making out with the girl in his room. A successful night for all involved and a must see for anyone interested in being completely blown away into a galaxy of ecstasy rather than blown. Now to flip tails and the bird with Birdman…

5 Stars/10 BJ’s

 

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